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Why I Miss my Kids as Soon as they Drift Off to Sleep

sleep, toddler, intuition parenting
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Its almost 8:45 pm and I hear Grant exiting Hannah’s room. My heart is happy to know that she would have drifted off to sleep a while ago, and is now likely dreaming of some wild paw patrol adventure we will re-enact tomorrow. Then a funny song she was singing this evening pops into my head. I picture her funny little three year old, tall gangly body dancing around, and I smile. “I miss her” I hear in my head, yet on at least a few occasions today I knew we needed a break from each other.

My tired newborn mommy brain says: “Here’s your night long break and you miss her a mere hour after the most loving goodnight hug and kiss?”

I chuckle at myself.

Missing her when she sleeps makes me wish I could take back the hard moments of our day together. I know though that I can’t and shouldn’t even want to as it can’t all be peachy keen like the fun memories that pop into my head once she finally drifts off for the night.

That feeling of wishing you didn’t hit that wall at 4:30 pm when her good behaviour was out the window, the baby was on a nursing bender, you were trying to prepare dinner, and all of your tricks were used up to keep them both happy – that feeling just makes you want to do better tomorrow. Be better yourself, more patient, more understanding, more present, and help her be better, more patient, more understanding, etc.

Age three so far has been harder for us than two, her “terribles” showed up a little late but I’m sure the terribles are grinning while thinking, “hey, better late than never! You can call me THREENAGER!” But our little hiccups every day are our motivation for the next. Without missing them once they fall asleep we couldn’t reflect and prepare for how to be our best versions of ourselves as often as we can. It’s all a part of it, the ups and downs, ebs and flows, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Now I can drift off to sleep and I get to look forward to her sweet little voice tomorrow morning, and to begin anew. It’s like a refresh button, a chance to give it another try, and to tackle the new challenges in ever better ways. Let’s never stop missing them when they sleep so that we always remain mindful of the joys of tomorrow. <3

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